To say a woman doesn’t show love is an oxymoron. How can one be a woman and without love to give at the same time? Genetically, women tend to be more nurturing. Research suggests that the XX chromosomes and the production of estrogen makes it almost impossible for women to be careless.

Sure, there are exceptions to every rule when we consider trauma, abuse or even heartbreak but truth of the matter is, a woman IS love. She represents the warmth that makes a house a home. She represents the organization that makes a business ‘flow’ and most importantly, she represents the support behind a successful man.

There’s usually one time a woman stops showing love, and that is when SHE stops receiving it. A lot of women tend to give and give until there is nothing left in the tank. Even then, they will try to pull from resources they don’t even have. This is what makes the woman unique.

However, if there’s concern of a love drought, or fear that your woman or your wife has stopped loving you, it may be time to stop what you’re doing and pour into her.

Here are 6 Ways to Pour Into a Woman:

1. Listen

We all want to be heard but there is something about active listening that makes a woman feel valued. There are two types of listening: active and passive. Each one has its subtypes but for the most part, people will identify with these two forms. Active listening provides feedback, paraphrasing, validating and involvement in the conversation. This looks like, “Wow babe, so your supervisor only let you take a 15 minute break when you were there 9 hours? That’s got to be exhausting. Would you like for me to let you rest this evening?” This is very different from passive listening, which only means the person heard you on the surface and isn’t connected to anything said. This looks like, “Wow babe, you didn’t get a break today? That’s messed up. What’s for dinner though?” See the difference?

2. Offer Help

What attracts women to men is a man’s ability to offer support, guidance and protection. Support isn’t limited to financial obligations. There are more ways to help than that. Some examples of ways a man can offer help include, helping the children with homework (if this applies), prepare his woman a lunch to take to work, engage in chores around the house, such as dusting, and cleaning the entire kitchen, not just washing the dishes (a woman loves it when her man sees the counters, the stove and the floors). Make sure her car is filled with gas and that it’s vacuumed or washed. Believe it or not, domestic help turns a woman on. Fellas, don’t let a defiance in household chores stand in the way of a good sex life. 😉

3. Take up for her

It’s natural for men to go ‘head-to-head’ with other men because they are territorial. Men have no problem putting another man in his place when it comes to his woman. However, the stickiest place for a man to be is in a battle between a female family member and his woman. Most men prefer to behave like those battles don’t even exist because it’s often too much to deal with. However, avoiding and ignoring the battle isn’t the most effective way to handle this type of conflict. When someone is attacking your woman, (whether she can protect herself or not, whether she is wrong or not) take up for her in that moment. If a man finds that his woman is in the wrong, a ‘united front’ is the best solution. A ‘united front’ is when a couple presents as ‘one’ or on the same team to the public, then handles their controversy in private. A man standing by his woman will not only, let others know she is important to him, it may encourage her to “squash the beef” and give her the sense of protection she needs to keep providing the warmth and comfort her man needs. Sounds like a three for one deal to me…

4. Plan a date

While she may not admit it, a woman loves it when a man says, “who, what, when and where.” There’s nothing more relaxing to a woman’s soul than a phone call from that special person to say, “Hey, Friday night, be ready at 7. I’m taking you out and wear something sexy…” To be courted enhances a woman’s self esteem. In 2019, it seems a lot of women have lost faith in the dating rituals. Some say that men aren’t making the ‘right’ moves and other say that men expect them to make all of the moves. Either way, women like it when a man takes an active role in courtship and the planning of an outing. If you need help planning the most romantic or fun evening, check out the events page in your local paper, groupon or social media platform. The best dates are usually the most inexpensive ones.

5. Show up for her

Physical support is one of the most influential acts when it comes to boosting confidence. Think of musical artists, actors/actresses and entertainers…who would they be if their fans didn’t show up? Be your woman’s biggest fan. Show up for her. If her friends or family have a function, join her. If there is a wedding or a graduation, be there. Nothing is more humiliating for a “taken” woman, than to show up to an event where other couples are, alone. Don’t be a participant in her appearing single. Sooner or later, she will be.

6. Pray with her and for her

This should’ve been the first way to pour into a woman, but I thought I’d save the best for last. No matter how much societal roles change, the role of the man leading his woman, does not. Spiritually, a man has the closest connection to God. His prayers are highly favored. This doesn’t mean, God ignores women. He hears us too. It just means there is an order and when things are done in the order of God’s word, they tend to work out best. Women want men who inspire them and encourage them. What better way is there for a man to inspire and encourage a woman than to show her that he knows God? I’ll wait…

The sole purpose of this article is to enhance or improve the quality of a relationship by identifying the needs of others and decreasing one’s ability to be self serving.

For more tips and information on relationships, please follow me on IG @author_nya_b

Nya B is a mental health clinician, author, public speaker and professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences. Learn more about her at nya-b.com