Honeymoon Blvd

It is never my goal to give anyone the idea that “because marriage is hard work, there won’t be any fun.” Actually, marriage can be a lot of fun. As a woman who takes business very seriously, it is my motto that “if you work hard, you should play hard” and, “oh boy” do my husband and I play hard!! In fact, our time alone is the absolute best. While we didn’t have an official honeymoon, we made due with whatever time we had. Our wedding in and of itself felt like a honeymoon. We were married privately and we shared it with very few people.  What others thought was our engagement party, turned out to be our reception. We announced our marital status to the world, in a slideshow. It was actually quite exciting. While it wasn’t our intention to leave anyone out of our important day, we wanted it to be about us. If you’ve ever been engaged or even in a serious relationship, you will find that people have a way of giving unsolicited advice and we didn’t want to hear it. Most importantly, we didn’t need anyone standing up in the back of the room singing, Vesta’s, “Congratulations.”

Investing in your marriage with quality time is the best thing you can do to protect it from outside distractions and challenging circumstances. My husband and I love to hang out with one another, whether it be a movie, dinner, adult game nights with other loved ones, couples’ trips or flirting with each other at the local lounge like strangers, we do it!! We make it our business to make love on a regular basis. We take on new experiences together, this includes traveling to places we’ve never been before or me, singing a karaoke song, I have yet to serenade him with. If there are fears, we talk about them. If there is something to laugh at, we share it. If he wants to share the Watchtower, I read it. While it is not always easy, we make it a priority to be friends.

I know it sounds cliché to say, “communication is the best thing for any relationship” but it truly is. Communication is actually the most productive way to stay on Honeymoon Blvd. There are two parts to communication: speaking and listening. That latter part is crucial because we all know that when we “feel” some kind of way, listening goes out the window. Needless to say, my husband and I  listen a lot better to one another when things between us are good. When we are happy and meeting each other’s emotional needs, this marriage feels like a breeze; Our responses to each other be like, “Sure babe; Ok sweetie; Yes darling; Hey boo..” Now, let either one of our emotional tanks be on E, you might walk in our house and hear, “What?” or “Yeah, Ok…or his favorite line,  “I heard you, bean-head-little girl!” Either way, the most important thing is getting back on track. My husband insists that we go out together even when we don’t like one another. We aren’t allowed to cancel events just because we’re not getting along. I hate it sometimes but he actually does a great job at ignoring my attitudes. While, I’m not sure how I feel about that yet, I do know that by the end of the night we are fine. I can honestly say, I didn’t expect to have honeymoons regularly. I’ve learned to let them take place on a continuum. I’ve realized that the longer he and I go without our honeymoons, the easier it is to grow apart. I don’t think I want that to happen.

Next Stop…Distractions

Author: msnyab

I'm an author, Mental Health Clinician, wife, mother and friend! I've learned that people feel their best when their feelings and thoughts are validated and they are surrounded by others they can relate to. Speaking the truth is liberating and therapeutic. I enjoy giving strangers and loved ones an outlet to do that!!

2 thoughts on “Honeymoon Blvd”

  1. I’ve been married for 12 years going on 13 year in April of next year and we stop honeymooning years ago….I try to convince my husband to have date night and take random vacations with just me and him and to go on marriage retreats but if it’s not a business dinner or business trip or business retreat he ain’t having it…,it makes me so sad that I constantly ask myself if I can continue on in this marriage…..and I still don’t have the answer to that question yet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Honeymooning is definitely critical. It’s like choosing not to deposit money into your bank account while you continue to spend. It will overdraft and leave you in the negative. Since your husband is so business focused, maybe you can present a “business model” of the marriage to him and speak in his language. What would happen if you attended the business dinners or trips with him? My husband and I role play a lot to keep us from getting into the day-to-day functions of the marriage. What if you sent this blog posts to him and you dialogued about the topic?

      Like

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